Seasons – Preparation and Blessings

There’s something about the end of a calendar year that tends to make us very introspective. This day – New Year’s Eve – is traditionally the day I spend the most time thinking about where I’ve been… and where I’m headed. My wife and I enjoy remembering the “highlights” of the year as we prepare to embark on a brand new 12 months! While today marks the height of this process of reflecting, for us it typically starts a week or so before Christmas. Things will pop up that we’d almost forgotten, and it gives us time to digest what it all means and perhaps, what we were supposed to learn from it all.

Last night, I had a thought not from 2017, but from 1987. New Year’s Eve 1987, to be exact. I was reminded of something that took place 30 years ago today, which I will share in a minute. Some other thoughts followed – what it might mean and why, that I feel, the Holy Spirit brought to mind. I’m still not entirely sure why. I was just sure that I needed to write it down. If I’m honest, I’m hoping that my obedience to do so will lead to my understanding of the purpose of the memory. So, I guess this is a bit of a “live-action”, living unfiltered for God moment. I’ve felt the prompting, I’m being obedient, and we’ll see if the blessing comes along the way.

Thirty years ago tonight, I spent the evening at a friend’s house, counting down to the new year with my friend and her parents. I was in college and living in Tampa at the time. Not long after we watched the Times Square ball drop and Auld Lang Syne be sung, I was in my car, driving across town back to my apartment. Along the way, I saw something that shook me to my core. I couldn’t tell what it was at first that I was seeing in front of me, but then, as I got closer, it became clear. There I was, driving on I-4, and a young man was running back and forth across the interstate. Darting out of the shadows, just ahead of oncoming traffic so the cars would just miss him. I would bet that most drivers didn’t even see him until they realized they just missed him. To say witnessing that – and being afraid I was going to see him get hit – was terrifying would be an understatement. And what if I had been the one to hit him?

After that memory passed through my head, I started thinking about what ifs? What if… I had hit him? What if… I had to swerve to miss and it caused me to wreck? What if… I did not survive it? What… would I have missed? After that last thought, I started thinking about all that took place over the next 12 months, in 1988 – one of the more eventful years in my life. I will just share one little piece of the story.

Let me pause here to say that this is not intended to be depressing or downer of a read. Much the opposite. Stick with me a little longer, even through the next paragraph or so which may also be a little heavy…

About three months later I received a phone call from my Dad. He told me that my Mom, who had been dealing with numerous health issues over the years, had been diagnosed with cancer. He told me that the doctors only gave her six to twelve months to live. I was in shock. I very quickly made the decision to finish out the semester – there were only a few weeks left – and move back home. I had admittedly been floundering in school (a story for another day) and it made sense to hit the pause button on my education until after I spent time at home with my Mom – with whatever time she had left.

So that is what I did. Then, on New Year’s Night, January 1^st, 1989 – 366 days after the incident on I-4 – I was in the Emergency Room with my mom, as the pain and so forth she was dealing with had become too much. My Mom fought for another six weeks or so before she passed away. (Let me just say here, Cancer is an evil disease.) Much of what took place in that year is etched in my mind. I remember more of that year than most years in my life.

In retrospect, 1988 was a very dark year in my history. Perhaps the darkest. Those who know me well, have heard me speak of my “wilderness years” – the five years roughly from the summer of 1984 to the summer of 1989. One particular day in April – about a week after I learned of my Mom’s cancer – was the darkest and lowest point in my life. (Again, a story for another time.)

Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, 'It will be happier.'

~Alfred Lord Tennyson

However, as I look back at 1989, that was the year things began to turn around. Early in that year I met Barbara, the woman God had long been preparing for me (and me, her) and would, a few years later become my wife, of now near 24 years. I enrolled back in college – this time at the place God wanted me to go – and thrived there. I began to trust God more than I ever had before – and He pulled me out of the muck and mire I had been living in the previous five years.

One thing that’s odd is that I know in my own life, 1989 could never have happened without 1988. What I went through in 1988 (and the few years prior) worked to form and shape me for what was to come in 1989. It was all preparation. Each year, while it is in itself something to live in the moment, is just as much a prelude to the next – a preceding act that is getting you ready for the next year. You can’t jump ahead. You can’t cheat time. You can’t learn the lessons without spending the time in the classroom. You must live it to learn it.

OK… I’m ready to wrap this up… so what does it all mean? Life comes at us in seasons. Some seasons we never want to leave. Some seasons we never want to enter. Some seasons last a few months… Others last five years. And this, finally, is what I think The Lord wanted me to pass along with those memories he placed in my head last night:

1 – Whatever season you find yourself in, He is right there with you. You may not see Him. You may not even be looking for Him, but He is there. Right beside you, every step of the way. Preparing you. Getting you ready for whatever is next.

2 – All seasons eventually come to an end. If you are in a dry or dark place, know that it is not forever. The tide will turn. His goodness will return and rule the day. And if that dry season is ahead of you, know that, if and when it does come, it isn’t forever.

I don’t know why that young man was playing chicken with automobiles that New Year’s Eve 30 years ago. I could speculate that he probably had a little “chemical assistance” to get him to the place where darting in between cars seemed like a good idea. But what I do know, is that it showed me that night – and now 30 years later – how quickly things can change, in the blink of an eye. Be grateful for the blessings. And be grateful for the trials – for through them blessings will eventually flow. We just need to keep our eyes on Him.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!